When the mother’s day cards you got when your babies were two are the cards you’re still getting.
You wonder if your child will ever write their own name or even understand the occasion they’re finger painting for?
But then you smile down at the little splodge of paint, at their little squiggle where a name ought to be and you know that what you’re looking at is absolutely beautiful, so it’s ok.
When you’d love to go for a long family stroll but your child with special needs is poorly and doesn’t know its mother’s day but then you hold them close and realise how much they need you when they’re confused and in pain, and you know you’re exactly where you need to be right now, so it’s OK.
When you’ve been bitten, punched and kicked throughout the day just like any other day, but then you stop and you realise its not personal. You realise its not willful, its a byproduct of something that is really challenging in your child’s environment, something they can’t tell you functionally. You realise that behaviour, all behaviour is communication so its OK. Its actually not OK, but you know you’re doing everything in your power to find those triggers, find what’s at the crux of that communication and thats what you know is OK.
When you close your eyes and think am I enough? Am I doing enough?…And that dark voice tells you you’re not, my friend that is not OK.
Let me tell you, if you’re watching your kids and asking if you’re enough, if it really hurts to think you may not be then you already are. You love them, you’d walk through fire for them. You wake up every day wanting it to be a better day for your family.
Some days might just be survival.
Some days you may wake up to last night’s dishes because you just couldn’t face them after the relentlessness of the day that preceeded.
Some days you may realise you’ve been wearing the same bra all week and you haven’t washed your hair in days but your kids are healthy, thriving and loved. And you know what, that’s all OK too.
The ‘be kind’ rhetoric is so ubiquitous now but the people we are least kind to are ourselves.
Stop. You are enough. To your babies you are perfect in every way. So just stop and take a moment to really appreciate your worth.